Tulisa Contostavlos has revealed the secret health battle that forced her to flee the aftermath of her stint on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!
The N-Dubz singer, 36, made a swift exit from Australia within days of being voted out of the Jungle, having deleted all traces of her appearance on the ITV show from her Instagram.
She later took to her Instagram to address the speculation about her sudden departure to say she had become ‘overwhelmed’ by the whole thing.
In part one of Paul C Brunson’s We Need To Talk podcast, Tulisa opened up on the struggles she faced with her mental health both in the jungle and following her exit, with the star admitting that she struggled to gleefully mingle with the ‘happy campers’ while she was ‘sat crying in her hotel room’.
Ahead of part two’s release on Monday at 8am, Tulisa also told of the moment she almost quit the show, with the singer left in tears and struggling to breathe during a harrowing anxiety attack that wasn’t shown onscreen, reports The Mirror.
Explaining the battles she faced that viewers were not privy to, Tulisa said: ‘Some of the things you didn’t see, I had night terrors for the first four days. I was waking up out of my sleep, and I was having anxiety attacks.
‘Those parts, not everyone knows, so it wasn’t completely smooth sailing for me at all, but I have a great poker face.
‘I really can turn it on and especially when I’m faced with adversity. The last thing I wanted to do was go in there and be the hot mess. So if anything, I’m going to be the biggest soldier there is.
‘So as soon as I’m set with a task and I’m going in and jumping out of a plane, I’m going to look like a warrior, because that is what I do. I might sit and cry under the sleeping bag, that’s also a part of who I am.’
Opening up on a particular attack that almost forced her to leave the show early, Tulisa went on: ‘I mean, I did cry on the VT at one point, but I definitely had an anxiety attack off-camera, because I went to the smoking area to do it and even then, I didn’t want them to know that I was having an anxiety attack, so I was trying to bring down my heart rate, literally through my nose.
‘I was like, “Okay, get the heart rate down. Get the heart rate down”. I wanted to leave that day. I was like, ‘I can’t do this but it’s not what I came here for. I came here to stick it out and do whatever I have to do”. And there were lots of amazing moments, really joyful moments, thanks to the people. The people made those moments.’
Since being the third to be evicted from the jungle as subsequently jetting back to the UK, Tulisa had told how she felt ‘introvert-overload’ upon heading back to reality, admitting she was hyperventilating and crying.
It’s understandable that Tulisa is wary of being in the public eye, having been involved in several scandals – including a drug sting by The Sun’s notorious Fake Sheikh.
During her chat with Paul, she went into further detail about how her introversion affected her in camp, as well as how it impacted her time after her exit during the period where evicted campmates spend time with the loved ones of other campmates and join them to greet the newly-evicted stars at their plush Gold Coast hotel.
Tulisa explained: ‘I am a massive introvert. I was really getting a little bit overwhelmed in there, so I was probably the least around in camp. I would go and remove myself and go for walks or go and hide in the dunny. I spent 90% of my time alone.
‘The agoraphobia and being alone for so long, I got super overwhelmed being around so many people. They could see that, and they were really understanding about that. They had jokes like, “She’s gone to the Airbnb. She’ll be back.”
‘When I came out, I think actually the biggest thing that tipped me over the edge was introvert overload. I had pushed myself into doing this and I was ready to overcome all the fears and being in the spotlight, but being watched consistently, so many hours a day, nowhere to hide, nowhere to run, feeling so exposed. Everyone can see me, and also this underlying fear – probably irrational – of being watched.’
She went on to say that the feeling of being watched all the time reminded her of being ‘under surveillance’ by Mazher Mahmood, also known as the Fake Sheik, a then journalist for the Sun on Sunday tricked her into giving him a contact from which he bought £800 worth of cocaine.
She noted that while everyone else at the hotel were ‘happy campers’, her past experience weighed heavy on her and she found it difficult to interact with others and pretend she was ok.
She shared: ‘I did what I signed up for, but I came out, I processed, I was feeling the way I was feeling. There’s 11 other really happy campers there that are really happy to be there, happy to have the holiday and do it all with energy, with smiles, and you have someone that’s sat crying in their hotel room.
‘In this current age that we live in, it’s like, “You want me to be there out of principle? When I’m having a breakdown right now? I need to go home and process this. If other people are not having the same experience as me, they haven’t had the same experiences in the past and they’re all current people that are doing radios or they’re on television. This is very much the norm for them”. This, for me, was a psychological experiment, for myself.’
Detailing how ITV were very understanding of her predicament, she went on: ‘ITV were brilliant and supported me knowing what I needed to do for myself.’
The Young hitmaker also gave an insight into what she did when she finally arrived home in the UK, revealing how she spent the first day in bed and detoxed from social media and her phone.
She shared: ‘I stared at the wall, I think, for the first 24 hours in the bed covers, just thinking, processing, phone off. And then I put the Lord of the Rings trilogy on because I’m a nerd and escapism is my thing when I’m feeling overwhelmed.
‘I just sat in bed for four days, phone detox, social media detox, and the people that know me really well know what I’m like, and they were like, “It’s okay, just just leave her” and they were having to speak to other people, because everyone’s like, “We can’t get hold of her. She’s gone off the radar. Is she okay?”
‘My friends that are closest to me, my inner circle, were like “She’s good, she’s recharging. She’s on the recharge”.’
Tulisa also used the interview as an opportunity to speak about her battle with prescription drugs, where she felt ‘she was going to die’ from the habit.
During lockdown, Tulisa said she became depressed when her dog got cancer and began self medicating with sleeping pills ‘to numb the pain’.
She said: ‘I was dependent without realising… I just went cold turkey for five days and I ended up in hospital because I didn’t know, but my body had become dependent on it.
‘I felt like I was having a heart attack. I had pains in my chest…. I just literally felt like I was going to die.’
She added: ‘Once I overcame that in January, I didn’t realise how much I had been affected by it and I started to feel alive again.
‘I started to feel me, as a human. I was like, “Oh my god, this is reality”. I couldn’t determine anymore what was real and what wasn’t in terms of my anxiety, my depression.
‘I didn’t know what was what. Then it takes so long for your body to get back to normal again and for your nervous system to recover.’
During her time in the jungle, Tulisa opened up about her 𝓈ℯ𝓍 life, revealing she has been celibate for three years and coming out as demi𝓈ℯ𝓍ual.
Demi𝓈ℯ𝓍uality is a 𝓈ℯ𝓍ual orientation where a person only experiences 𝓈ℯ𝓍ual attraction after forming a strong emotional connection with someone.
Explaining how she came to that realisation, Tulisa shared: ‘I’ve kind of always been that way. But me being that kind of person, and then having the experiences I’ve had, has put me so far back into my shell.
‘I only deal with people I already know. I’ve just recycled ex-boyfriends for the past 10 years. A new person coming in doesn’t have a chance.’
She added that if she doesn’t see someone as a ‘friend’ then ‘I wouldn’t want them as a lover. I just don’t get the tingles.’
Yet she revealed that she doesn’t think her celibacy will last forever as she has faith that the universe will provide her with the perfect person.
The N-Dubz star detailed her agonising 12-year health battle with Bell’s palsy, ahead of her arrival on I’m A Celebrity.
She was diagnosed with Bell’s palsy in 2020 – a neurological disorder that causes paralysis or weakness on one side of the face when the facial nerve is damaged or stops working properly.
Yet she soon became locked in a vicious cycle of having filler to even out her appearance and her face becoming inflamed and swollen.
Reflecting on her ordeal, Tulisa shared: ‘It was not fun, looking in the mirror every day and hating what you see. And also, going: “This isn’t my face”, and people going: “Well, it is your face now, because you’re full of filler.” But that was because half my face was full of fluid, so I got fillers in the other half. It was torture.’
Just before entering the jungle, Tulisa had cysts removed from her cheeks and shared: ‘instantly, my face was smaller. Honestly, the depression that it caused…’
In a video earlier this month, Tulisa addressed her fans for the first time.
Speaking on Instagram, she said: ‘I’m just doing a little video to clear a couple things up. Just so you know, when I came out of the jungle, I felt fine first of all and then that evening my friends went to bed.
‘But because it’s been a while for me I can get overwhelmed quite easily. I just started to feel overwhelmed. I thought, “Do you know what, I really just need to take a bit of time for me and just chill.”
‘You know, it’s OK to feel a little bit overwhelmed. I’ve been out of the spotlight for a long time. I’m still trying to overcome those things. I’ve still got my little demons.’
Reports surfaced Tulisa had a bust-up in the hotel after she was evicted from the show with her best friends, Michelle McKenna and her boyfriend, Daniel Johnson – something which her representatives have denied.
It was said she was not happy with how her best friends ran her Instagram while in the Jungle, deeming their posts about her to be ‘inappropriate’.
A source told MailOnline: ‘They were only in Australia because of Tulisa. It felt like they were revelling in the situation and taking liberties with her kindness.
‘Michelle and Daniel were there, on a trip funded by ITV and only because of Tulisa. They were there because of her and she trusted them with her social media.
‘When she got out of the jungle and saw what had been put on there, she was upset and it prompted a huge row. You can’t help but think that seeing her friends living it up like that while she was roughing it in the jungle must have really annoyed her.
‘They were in a five-star hotel, with most expenses paid, so it does all feel a little bit rotten for Tulisa,’ they added.
‘She is so upset. She was distraught to see what had been posted and she wanted to get rid of it as quickly as possible.’
The I Need You singer furiously deleted all trace of her time in the Jungle and did not attend any of her scheduled appearances with ITV.
The Ouch singer pulled out of joining I’m A Celebrity… Unpacked with Joel Dommett, Kemi Rodgers and Sam Thompson the day after she was evicted, citing ‘personal reasons’.
Tulisa later took to her Instagram stories denying she had argued with Michelle and Dan.
However, she still appeared in I’m A Celebrity’s spin-off show Coming Out.
In the Coming Out show, the celebrities are followed with cameras from the moment they leave camp, with Tulisa only being filmed for a short period before she fled Australia.